Scrollers Preview - Parashat Vayiggash 2014

Although the Joseph story seems to be about Joseph and his brothers, this week, it is revealed to us that the story is really about Jacob, the father. The father’s favoritism, his passivity, his struggles, have shaped the drama of the brothers’ relationships from the beginning, and this only continues in Vayiggash.

Jacob is always there. Throughout Joseph’s testing of his brothers, Joseph asks after the wellbeing of their father. This week, in the same breath in which Joseph reveals his identity to his brothers, he asks, “Is my father still alive?” As Judah powerfully steps forward and pleads on behalf of Benjamin, his primary concern is always Jacob’s welfare  - that Jacob would not survive the loss of Benjamin, because “his father loves him.” As Robert Alter comments, it is “remarkable that Judah accepts the painful fact of paternal favoritism.” Judah even refers to Rachel as if she is Jacob’s only wife.

It all seems to be about Jacob. When Jacob lays eyes on Joseph again for the first time in 22 years, Joseph weeps and weeps. And Jacob? He doesn’t shed a tear. Rather, he comments that now he can die peacefully. And when he comes down to Egypt, he bemoans his short, difficult life to Pharaoh.

Has Jacob become a narcissist? What has happened to the awe-filled Jacob after the dream of the staircase – the humble God-wrestler the night before he encountered Esau? What is his relationship with God now? Does it mean anything to Jacob that as he descended to Egypt, God came to him in a night vision and assured him that “I Myself will go down with you to Egypt, and I Myself will also bring you back”? When he wakes up from this final God-encounter, Jacob doesn’t seem transformed – he just gets back in the wagon and continues on his way…

Scrollers Preview - Parashat Miketz 2014

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Chanukah!

Two years have elapsed since last week’s parasha, and during this time, as the cupbearer forgot what Joseph had done for him, and Joseph languished in jail. Pharaoh’s difficulty in interpreting his dreams of  skinny cows devouring fat cows and thin ears of corn swallowing fat ears of corn remind the cupbearer of Joseph’s ability to tell a dream’s meaning. Joseph is washed, shaved, and brought up from prison. His interpretation and then advice to Pharaoh regarding to how to plan for and manage 7 years of famine raise him up to second in command over all of Egypt. Meanwhile, the famine reaches Canaan, and Joseph’s brothers must come down to Egypt for provisions. Thus begins a series of dramatic encounters between Joseph and his brothers, with Joseph hiding his identity from them and testing them to see if they have changed since they sold him down to Egypt.

It has been 20 years since his brothers sold Joseph as a slave, the same number of years that Jacob and Esau were estranged from each other in the previous generation. Here again we have an opportunity for reconciliation between brothers who almost killed each other. In the earlier story, Jacob wrestles with a man, is injured, and approaches his brother Esau the next morning by bowing seven times, assuming  a posture of humility. In this story, Joseph hides his identity and assumes a position of great power and authority over his brothers, putting them through an ordeal in which they believe they are going to lose their brother Benjamin to slavery.

The drama unfolds slowly and deliberately as Joseph manipulates his brothers, eventually bringing Judah (in next week’s parasha ) to prove himself as having done teshuvah. Judah recognizes how it would kill their father to come back to Canaan without Benjamin.

As we compare these two stories of fraternal reconciliation, what differences and similarities do we see? Is there a “wrestling” in this week’s parasha? Does it make Judah’s turnaround more or less authentic given that he doesn’t actually know he is speaking with Joseph? What is the role of Joseph’s hidden identity in bringing about this shift in Judah’s behavior? Do we think Judah would have been able to express his guilt and remorse directly to Joseph? Have the other brothers changed at all, or only Judah?

Scrollers Preview - Vayeishev 2014

This week, even though we have 13 chapters to go in the book of Genesis, we start to see the end of the book coming into view. Joseph takes center stage, in his multi-colored coat, and as he stands there, we can already imagine our people in Egypt. The descent has begun.

Themes from the previous generations repeat themselves, but in a more symbolic and dramatic way. The older sons will serve the younger, as in the previous generation. But instead of a mother learning this from a consultation with God, as Rivka did regarding her sons, Joseph himself learns this prophecy through a series of dreams which he describes to his brothers. And his brothers know the meaning of the dreams immediately.

The younger child is favored again here, and it is symbolized outwardly by the multi-colored coat Jacob gives to Joseph. While Jacob’s aggrieved brother unsuccessfully ran after him to kill him, here the brothers seem much more bloodthirsty. In the end, they sell their brother into slavery and dramatize their brother’s death, showing their father a bloody tunic.

The theme of deception continues here – remember Jacob wearing animal skins to deceive his father Isaac? Now Tamar changes her clothes and poses as a prostitute to seduce her father-in-law Judah and bear a son to carry on the family line.

And speaking of clothes, this is a huge theme too – disguise, special clothes, and the stripping of those clothes. We already mentioned Joseph’s coat, and Tamar’s costume change. Joseph is stripped of his coat and thrown in a pit. Then, when Potiphar’s  wife seduces Joseph, she strips him, and then he runs away, leaving his garment in her hand.

This cycle of Joseph seems to be distinguished from what came before by this emphasis on the meaning of external things– clothes and symbols. Dreams happen inside characters’ heads, but they are interpreted as predicting concrete, external events. Previously, God brought messages to people in their dreams or spoke to them when they were awake. In these chapters, we know that “God is with Joseph” because of his outward success, first in Potiphar’s house and then in prison.

What do we make of this shift to a story related through symbols? Are we reading something more allegorical? Something more shallow? Less nuanced? Where is the depth in this story?

Scrollers Preview - Vayishlach 2014

Dear Scrollers –

For my preview of the parasha this week I thought I’d share a piece I wrote as part of my Jewish Mindfulness Teacher Training. Every participant is responsible for writing a Dvar Torah with meditation instructions for one parasha during the year, and this was my week. My piece focuses on Jacob’s wrestling with the “man” until dawn and how our minds deal with the “unpleasant.” You’ll see that at the end there are meditation instructions. If you practice meditation, you may want to try it out and see if it works for you!

Looking forward to studying this parasha with all of you,

Rabbi G.

. . . a mindfulness midrash

“We came to your brother Esau; he himself is coming to meet you, and there are four hundred men with him.  Jacob was greatly frightened. . . .” (32:7-8)

He is going to see his brother tomorrow – his brother whom he hasn’t seen in 21 years, who was pursuing him to kill him the last time they saw each other –the brother whom he had cheated out of the blessing.

And Jacob does what he typically does when he is frightened. He takes control of the situation,  dividing up his camp, sending wave after wave of gifts ahead to his brother, hoping that if he propitiates him ahead of time, Esau will let him off easy.

But Jacob can’t control this situation. He doesn’t know what he is going to face. He is scared. And for once in his life, he stays put, and he sits with the fear.

“. . . .Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn.” (32:25)

All night long, he sits alone with the fear, and all night, Jacob tries to run away. But the man pulls him back again and again, pinning him to the ground. All night long, Jacob’s mind weaves stories – he reviews his past deceptions, his manipulations . So many stories. So unpleasant.  The man’s arms grip him, hold him still, so Jacob can feel the guilt sitting there at the bottom of his stomach, until slowly, it dissipates. All night long, anxious thoughts turn Jacob away from the moment and the man, drawing him towards the next morning . He pictures “what if” scenarios of blood and death and screams. But the man firmly turns Jacob back to face him, holding him, until he returns to the moment.

As the sun rises, Jacob’s hip is sore, but he feels a sense of release.

“I will not let you go unless you bless me,” Jacob says. (32:27)

And a strange thing happens. Warm fingers of compassion make their way around Jacob’s heart.

When the man leaves, Jacob realizes that he has looked the truth in its face, he is broken, and he has survived (32:31).

He limps towards Esau, his brother – his twin from whom he had separated. Esau runs to greet him, embraces him, kisses him and weeps.

The work has already been done. All that Jacob needed to do was to stay in one place and wrestle. Now his heart is open, and Esau can sense it. And they are connected again. And as Jacob leaves his brother, this time he is not running, he is no longer afraid. He is whole (33:18).

…some musings

Sitting with the unpleasant is a practice. It is an intentional wrestling that takes place internally, as we firmly an lovingly stay with whatever we want to flee from. The habitual response to the unpleasant is to run. Staying put feels dangerous. However, it is possible to feel the unpleasant and to feel safe while the unpleasant makes itself known in the body. The wrestling can become an embrace, as we come back to the body, back to sensation, whether pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. When we are feeling scared, like it’s time to run, we can bless ourselves with safety and strength so that we can continue to stay put. It is possible to emerge from that firm embrace feeling transformed, with a more open heart.

We see Jacob practicing staying with the unpleasant as he wrestles with “the man.” This is a new practice for Jacob, who has previously dealt with fear or conflict by running away or manipulating or deceiving. After his night of wrestling, Jacob encounters his brother in a new way, free from past habitual modes of response. He is able to receive his brother’s embrace, and he sees in his brother the face of the Divine. He is able to be whole with his brother, showing up with his strained hip – his place of vulnerability. And he leaves his brother “shalem,”  or “whole.” Even as they go their separate ways, they are no longer separate.

…instructions for practice

Sit in a relaxed, alert posture. Bring your attention to the breath – where it enters and leaves the body. Note sensation in the body and whether it is pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. Imagine strong arms holding you in a firm, loving embrace. You are safe, and you are rooted in this place. As thoughts and stories arise, feel the arms holding you, re-centering you. When unpleasant thoughts and feelings arise, bless yourself: “May I feel safe. May I feel strong. May I live with ease.” Return to sensation, to breath. Allow the feelings and sensations associated with the thoughts to make themselves known in the body. Feel those strong arms holding you. Bless yourself each time an unpleasant phenomenon arises. Note when the feelings dissipate. When you are ready, allow the arms to release you.